You're not a bad Canadian, you're a funny one.

I've never heard anybody say "aboot", and while Canada Geese look cool they can be really vicious. I don't go to Tim Hortons, but that's only because I don't drink coffee in the first place. The cheese curds in poutine remind me of chewed gum and gross me out. And while I can switch between French and English like I was changing my underpants, I realize how unfortunately rare that makes me in most of Canada.